I write this entry whilst watching Sunday Night Football reflecting on what has been a crazy 24 hours. The whirlwind of emotions experienced and the lessons learned in this one day far exceeds the combined total from about the 7 days before it.
It started by going to support a fellow student who was preaching at a nearby church. I loved being there and being surrounded by people who just oozed a love for God. My friend delievered a very good sermon on the subject of prayer and healing and left me with plenty to think about and chew over (always a good sign in my opinion). A spiritual high time i would call it.
The whirlwind started when i returned to hear some horrible news. One of the poeple whom had finished studying and graduated during my time here had passed away. My prayers are with their family and all those who knew them better than i did. Wow! It was a unexpected blow. You can never prepare yourself for news like that. They were an aquaintance but the fact i knew the person makes it all that much more real. It is a time when words are not enough, no matter what you say to anyone it is nto sufficient. Everyone grieves in their own way, everyone copes with shock in their own way, so i retreated by myself to deal with this news myself. I found myself naturally turning to Job. It seemed the obvious book to look at. And i was not disappointed. A quick turn to the end of the book and God's final response to Job reminded me of what my friend said earlier that day. To paraphrase:
'If i could see what HE could see and know what HE knows then i have to trust that i would understand'
As i am sure you would all appreciate and agree with I am unable to understand how God works. Now i find i starnge comfort in this. I approve that i believe in someone/thing that is beyond my comprehension. Imagine how small God would be if i could understand how he works. The idea that it is beyond my comprehension also helps me process and deal with what has happened.
Now after reflecting upon Job my mind turns onto the idea of the fragility of life. It is just so fragile. A lot more so then we often give it credit for. I am not condoning a life of conservative 'living' in which you live a stale life. Instead i am for grasping how fragile our life is and how much we take our life for granted. How much should our lives be shaped and dictated by the idea that it could all end any moment? I don't know the answer to this question and i think each person has their own answer to it. At my home town we have a memorial for a young female whose life was suddenly taken from her and everytime i notice it i reflect upon my life and how things would change if i was to pass away. What impact do i have on people and what would their memories be of me? Or for me most importantly, would my relationship with God be mentioned by those reminising? Does my faith dictate my life so much that people have to talk about it when reflecting on me? I hope so but i strive for more, i want my faith to be even more deeply integrated with my day to day living. And i hope all of you do too.
I find it is in the crazy days in which transformations happen and your relationship with the Father can grow. If you are going through a crazy day or a few crazy days then my prayer is that you can stay strong and trust that you would understand if you knew what the Father does.
