Oh What A Beautiful Morning

I am meant to be currently writing my essay on the inherent contradictions found in church based youth and community work but i just cannot do so. You know when you have had those days when God has just continued to come through for you in amazing ways well i am coming off of a weekend of days like that. Today and Yesterday have been an unbelievable roller coaster of emotions which has left me praising God and thanking Him that i am not living this life by myself.

I have so frequently sold God short, only giving him part of the glory or only thanking him for part of what he has done. But i am giving him all the glory for these last two days. I cannot sit here and write an essay when all i feel like do is proclaiming how incredible God is. I love days like this.

I look outside to see a blue sky but with a frosty bite in the air and reminisce about the sunset i saw yesterday after going for a wonderful stroll through a beautiful are. The colours in the sky were majestic. The reds the yellows the blues, it was a thing of beauty. And thinking back to Halloween and going on a prayer walk adn standing at the bottom of the drive to College and seeing the night sky but seeing all the different colours that form it, not just your blacks, but your blues and even a hint of red and purple. I stood with my heart praising the beauty that surrounds us everyday of the year. I love this time of year as i get to see nature at its finest.

In my quiet times i have been re-reading the book of Job and some of the passages and speeches that exist in that book just fuel the fire in my heart. The appreciation of just how big God is becomes so apparent as you read through the countless exchanges. I can just picture the conversations bouncing back and forth between them just infront of me. The scriptures truly coming alive.

My life may still have many questions hanging over it but if that is what it takes to have days like this then i would not change any of it.

I leave you with these words from C.S.Lewis:

'I believe in Christianity as I believe that the sun has risen: not only because I see it, but because by it I see everything else' 

Crazy Day

I write this entry whilst watching Sunday Night Football reflecting on what has been a crazy 24 hours. The whirlwind of emotions experienced and the lessons learned in this one day far exceeds the combined total from about the 7 days before it.

It started by going to support a fellow student who was preaching at a nearby church. I loved being there and being surrounded by people who just oozed a love for God. My friend delievered a very good sermon on the subject of prayer and healing and left me with plenty to think about and chew over (always a good sign in my opinion). A spiritual high time i would call it.

The whirlwind started when i returned to hear some horrible news. One of the poeple whom had finished studying and graduated during my time here had passed away. My prayers are with their family and all those who knew them better than i did. Wow! It was a unexpected blow. You can never prepare yourself for news like that. They were an aquaintance but the fact i knew the person makes it all that much more real. It is a time when words are not enough, no matter what you say to anyone it is nto sufficient. Everyone grieves in their own way, everyone copes with shock in their own way, so i retreated by myself to deal with this news myself. I found myself naturally turning to Job. It seemed the obvious book to look at. And i was not disappointed. A quick turn to the end of the book and God's final response to Job reminded me of what my friend said earlier that day. To paraphrase:

'If i could see what HE could see and know what HE knows then i have to trust that i would understand'

As i am sure you would all appreciate and agree with I am unable to understand how God works. Now i find i starnge comfort in this. I approve that i believe in someone/thing that is beyond my comprehension. Imagine how small God would be if i could understand how he works. The idea that it is beyond my comprehension also helps me process and deal with what has happened.

Now after reflecting upon Job my mind turns onto the idea of the fragility of life. It is just so fragile. A lot more so then we often give it credit for. I am not condoning a life of conservative 'living' in which you live a stale life. Instead i am for grasping how fragile our life is and how much we take our life for granted. How much should our lives be shaped and dictated by the idea that it could all end any moment? I don't know the answer to this question and i think each person has their own answer to it. At my home town we have a memorial for a young female whose life was suddenly taken from her and everytime i notice it i reflect upon my life and how things would change if i was to pass away. What impact do i have on people and what would their memories be of me? Or for me most importantly, would my relationship with God be mentioned by those reminising? Does my faith dictate my life so much that people have to talk about it when reflecting on me? I hope so but i strive for more, i want my faith to be even more deeply integrated with my day to day living. And i hope all of you do too.

I find it is in the crazy days in which transformations happen and your relationship with the Father can grow. If you are going through a crazy day or a few crazy days then my prayer is that you can stay strong and trust that you would understand if you knew what the Father does.

Nehemiah...... What a legend!!!

So about a day after my last blog my daily devotionals took me to the book of Nehemiah, a book I do thoroughly enjoy reading, so i knew good times were ahead. But instead of my normal read a few chapters a day I found myself unable to move past the first one. If you have a Bible near by i recommend grabbing it now and having a quick read. 11 verses that just blew me away. My daily devotional turned into a meditation on an honest man's prayer and the sort of prayer i want to be praying.

As i was reading it i couldn't help but be reminded of the Lord's Prayer and the similarities in the structure of both. What a start to a prayer it is though, 'O LORD, God of heaven, the great and awesome God,' He aknowledges the greatness of the person whom he is talking to. He doesn't use amazingly vivid adjectives but i almost feel like he is aknowledging that he cannot describe the greatness of God and all he can come up with is 'great' and 'awesome', he is probably in so much awe that his mind has blanked and he plucks up the first two words that come to mind. But reading it i find myself in a place of awe. That sense of speechlessness because what you are seeing is so great. I have found myself, on occassion, speechless as witnessing a sporting highlight but that is nothing in comparison to my feeling as i read and re-read Nehemiah 1.

What follows just continues to highlight God's greatness, in that Nehemiah repents fo his transgressions because he realises that he is unworthy to be speaking to God when he has so often sinned against Him. I frequently pray but often i don't think about how fortunate and amazing it is that i, a sinner saved by grace, can speak to him. The significance of this had become neutralised in my life as it became so natural. But Nehemiah understood the power of the one whom he was speaking to and in this realised how unworthy he was. I hope that i can take this lesson to heart and that EVERY time i pray i realise the power of the one whom i am speaking to and how unbelievable it is that i can speak to him considering how many times i mess up.

And then in verse 9 'I will gather them from there and bring them to the place I have chosen as a dwelling for my Name.' Nehemiah is recalling God's promise to him. And it is an amazing promise, to have God telling you that, simply put, he is in control and will deliver these people is a pretty special moment. Imagine experiencing that sort of promise on your life, that God will send you to a community and you will bring them to the dwelling place HE has chosen. Well i believe he has given us that promise through the Great Commission. By going and teaching the nations of all we have been taught and believe in then God is saying that by doing that HE will bring them into the dwelling place HE chooses. I know this may be hard to follow but i feel the Great Commission is nto for us to go out and tick boxes to say we meet the criteria of being a follower instead it is to go out and bring the people of the world into the dwelling place that God chooses, which is ultimately Himself. I hope you follow.

This short prayer from Nehemiah is probably frequently overlooked or just seen as the bookend of his journey in returning to fix the walls, since it is right at the start, but i think instead of it being a bookend it is the very core of what is to follow. Without such an honest and awe filled prayer at the start, what follows would lose SOME of its meaning.

Nehemiah is a legend and by reading his book one chapter at a time i am realising just how much of a legend he is and i hope you do so too.

Scattered Thoughts

When i decided to start doing a blog, and when i decided to pick it up again i never imagined so many people would be interested in what i was writing. I am blown away that it has been read by people in 7 different Countries and 3 different Continents. I could never imagine that the thoughts of a simple Theology student could travel so far. So Thank You for reading my ramblings and thoughts you have contributed to me a glorious revelation.

But on with this entry. I write this exhausted. Nearly falling asleep with each press of a key, it has been one of those weeks. 10 days ago i was in America and since then i have suceeded at breaking my finger, packing for my final year as a Theology Student and going on a Weekend Away with one of the most inspiring groups of people i have ever met, been back to hospital for a check up and moved into Uni complete with the unpacking. WOW! What a 10 days.

If you have ever broken your middle finger on your writing hand then you will understand the challenges that you face in daily life. Something as simple as brushing your teeth becomes awkward and takes longer than usual. Your time keeping skills get stretched as the jobs that took 5 minutes to do are now taking 10, and if you are like me you watch getting increasingly agitated as you see people playing a sport which you cannot join in with. But because of these challenges you realise how much you have taken for granted the function of this one finger. How important it is to so many aspects of life. You just don't realise it until you are without it. This has been a fitting realisation for me as i start my final year, as i reflect on the 2 years that have got me to this point. I am a guy who likes to keep things that means something to them, and as i was unpacking today i looked through some of my Birthday cards from last year and a few other bits a pieces from my 2 years studying. And by looking back you realise how easy it is to take things for granted, and in particular people. I spend most of the year surrounded by some of the most amazing and inspiring people you could meet but it took me over a year and a half to realise that. It is just so easy to do in life.

Over the weekend away i went on i had a revelation and that was that i was taking my faith for granted. I was learning a whole load of thing s with regards to what i should be doing etc. but my heart had gone from it and the motivation was not there. But by finding myself heavily restricted in what i could do i found myself learning about serving, i engaged with the heart of serving and experienced what i have seen many times in others. I found myself longing to do jobs to free up others or do things that don't require me to majorly go out of my way but helps the next person. Something as simple as holding a door open for people and waiting until everyone had gone through before going through myself. It is something i frequently do but this time during the weekend away i enjoyed doing it. I realised that being a true servant is not by necessarily doing the jobs that need doing but instead it is by finding a way to enjoy doing those jobs. It would not surprise me if Jesus enjoyed washing His Disciples' feet.

I know my thoughts are a bit over the place but i want to challenge you to think about what and who you are taking advantage of and how can you rectify this. I have found sometimes a simple card or even a hand written letter (shocking in the age of texting and facebbok i know) can make a huge difference. And also how do you serbe like we have been taught to serve? Or more to the point, do you?

I hope to do my next entry later this week or next week and hopefully it will be less over the place. But i want to leave you with the message from Ecclesiastes 3, there is a time for everything so don't dwell on the bad stuff but rejoice that this bad stuff is only for a season.

I Dreamed A Dream

Many people in life have dreams/ambitions that they want to achieve. These dreams can drastically vary in size. People can dream to go on an exotic cruise at some point in their life, or it could be that they dream to be alive to see Britain host the Olympics (very topical i know) or it can be to go live in a particular country in the world.

This coming weekend all being well I will realise one of my dreams. I am heading across the pond to the USA. This may seem trivial to most of you but it is a country I have always wanted to go to and somewhere I knew I would go to. Now I am not writing this blog to talk about my trip to America, I have done enough talking about it to most of you already. But instead I want to talk about something that has been on my heart. Dreams. With me being able to realise one of my dreams it got me reflecting on other dreams I have for my life. During this reflection I stumbled across a passage in Ephesians:

'Now to him who is able to do immeasurably more than all we ask or imagine, according to his power that is at work within us, to him be glory in the church and in Christ Jesus throughout all generations, for ever and ever! Amen.' Ephesians 3:20-21

 How often do we limit what God can do through us? Do we dream those big dreams?

I had the pleasure of preaching on this subject at the Bible College I am studying at and as I prepared what I was going to share I felt like God was asking me 'What happened to that guy I knew who would dream real dreams?' I had gone from a guy who knew that God's power was beyond my comprehension and thus meaning anything is possible to a guy who was dreaming about getting a job over the summer. I do believe there is a place for such dreams but they should not be the only ones we have. Whilst I was preaching I had the opportunity to gaze around the Chapel of future Church leaders i found myself in front of and even whilst I was preaching I was dreaming for what that group of people could achieve and anyone who has found themselves in such a situation knows how mind blowing that can be. 

If I asked you 'What do you want to do/achieve in your lifetime?' what would your answer be? No I am not looking for the answer of 'Do what God wants me to do' I am looking for the thing that God has put on your heart that makes your eyes light up and your heart beat quicker. Is there something? If not, Why not?

I dream that by the Grace of God I will bring at least one person to know Him. I dream that there will be a revival in this country (the UK) in which God gets the glory. I dream that I will experience a time where I don't see a fragmented force scattered throughout society but instead see an Army standing side by side like a Centurion would, a united front a real presence through which God's glory can be shown. I dream that even these dreams will seem insignificant to the wonders that God is doing.

My mind is flying all over the place whilst writing this thinking about things I would love to do or see happen. Imagine seeing North Korea become a place of real light instead of this darkness. Imagine a world without the trafficking of humans. Just think about what could happen.

I know I am getting carried away and have made my point many times over but God can do immeasurably more than we can imagine. So that means He can do immeasurably more than that which I have mentioned above and if that does not excite you and fire you up and make you want to be a part of it in whatever way you can, then you have not grasped the power of the Almighty and I am praying that you will.

I am sorry to have gone on a bit there but please Dream those Big Dreams and see how God turns up and makes those dreams appear so small. God Bless.    

I am what I am.

It has been a year and a half roughly since I set this up and did my first blog entry. With this being my second it is clear this past year and a half has not gone as I thought it would. But with the Paralympics about to start and the inspirational stories from the athletes I felt compelled to make my second entry.

One story in particular vividly spoke to me and that was the story of Martine Wright. If you do not know who I am referring to then I suggest you look it up. It spoke to me because it reminded me of a conversation I had with a dear friend whilst in Starbucks over the weekend. My friend had sat there trying to recall a passage of scripture that had spoken to her. The Passage was 1 Corinthians 15:10:

'But by the grace of God I am what I am, and his grace to me was not without effect.'

This quite short passage has many different levels to it and it is the multitude of levels that spoke to me. There I was sat with a friend who had just received a shockingly personal attack in a letter which to me highlighted some of the meaning behind this verse. The grace of God had transformed my friend into a new person, although I did not know her before she encountered his grace she has told me stories of what her life used to be like. And the contrast is huge. She is who she is because of the grace of God taking her from where she was and transforming her into someone new.

But anway that is enough about my friend, I could write many more blog entries on God's evident work in her life but that is not for me to do. Back to Martine Wright. Here is a woman who whether she realises it or not is still alive by the grace of God. It was a miracle that she lived and instead of lamenting about her current physical state she instead accepted that she is who she is and embraced it to now be taking part in the Paralympics.

It makes me reflect on how my life has been changed by the grace of God and whether i am just sat around lamenting at the 'hand i've been dealt'. I would like to think that all who know me know how much that is. Even over my two years at Moorlands I can clearly see how I have been changed, no, moulded, into the person I am now. I still have many flaws but by the grace of God I am what I am and by the grace of God I will be what I will be. I have no idea what this may entail yet but his grace is not without effect and that is what fills me with confidence going forward. I do not know what I will be doing this time next year or even where I will be. But He is guiding me and moulding me and by the grace of God I am what I am.